I need to write about what happened in order to file it away for posterity. There will eventually be a separate blog post of leadership lessons or somesuch but this is about the core of what happened and how I feel now. I am sad and angry.
You'll know that I have volunteered with a national mental health charity for some years now, and last year became Director of my local branch. I did not apply for the role but was nominated by my fellow members and it was an honour and a privilege to take on that responsibility. It was hard, always-on-call management: the buck stopped here but I found it fulfilling and, yes, enjoyable. It was a volunteer role.
I knew that in any leadership position, 50% of people will disagree with you but I was fine with that because I believed that in the end logic and the truth would prove irresistible. I was wrong. This only holds for people without a bad faith agenda.
I had started to write out an abridged version of the whole story here but even that seems too dull now. Basically, I purchased some equipment that we needed, to make things more comfortable for our volunteers. It was completely within my operational remit to do this. Some people who were unwilling or unable to understand and accept the parameters of their new trustee role disagreed with my purchase and refused to accept my rationale behind the purchase. Perhaps they did not read it. I sent back the equipment.
That was not enough for them, as they wanted my scalp. I still don't know why but it became an orchestrated campaign by four or five people, one of whom had formerly been an ally who had actually encouraged me to make this purchase. I endured a two-hour "reset" meeting where, one by one, they aired grievances that had already been addressed in full. I left that meeting almost broken but they used it to make complaints against my "tone." To be fair, I had snapped at one of them towards the end of the meeting but I apologised profusely afterwards and begged him to reconsider his resignation. He did not acknowledge my apology.
I struggled on out of duty to the branch for a few months, not wanting to be hounded out of my role by people who refused to see reason. I was bound by confidentiality rules as I still am, and that is why this post has to be vague. The cabal of people who wanted my scalp, and protected by my sealed lips, did not feel so constrained and spread undermining poison about me throughout the branch, which too many volunteers were too willing to accept without question.
It all came to a head with a whole branch Zoom meeting a month ago. Heavily choreographed in my support, apparently, and intended to explain the situation to the branch, it became an inquisition. Personal snipes were made relentlessly in the chat. Spurious and vicious points were raised. Some people whom I had trusted, who purported to support me, undermined me further. I refused to read a statement of passive voice and corporate damage limitation smoothing, prepared for me by an ally, that talked about hindsight and lessons being learned and that I felt appeased the conspirators. By the time I was allowed by the Chair of that meeting to make my statement in my own words, supported by the wider organisation I might add, all was lost.
In the end I had to resign. Branch activities have had to be suspended.
Some truths:
You cannot always expect people to treat you with the same respect you afford them.
A lie is half way around the world before the truth gets its shoes on.
People will choose conformity with the crowd over critical thinking.
People will rather smooth things over than stand up and be counted.
No matter what you say to persuade them, people will believe their own story about you.
I have written to the Chief Executive of the charity to put it on record that I was bullied out of my role. The whole thing has broken my heart and made me wary of trusting anyone ever again.
Member comments